I
WAS travelling by the Rajdhani Express. My destination was Madras. I
was going there to attend a conference of working journalists. The chair
next to mine was occupied by an elderly person - rather unassuming in
appearance. He was already there when I entrained. His was a window
seat and I found him deeply engrossed in reading a book. He did not
even look up to check who came and sat by his side. Somehow, I did not
feel like disturbing him. A few minutes after the train had started,
the Travelling Ticket Inspector came on his usual round and asked for
our tickets. The elderly gentleman quietly showed his and put it back
into his wallet. He did this without even looking up from the book.
`He must be quite a studious person,’ I thought `and such are the
people who can always be relied on to have something worthwhile to say.’
I waited patiently for an opportunity to strike up an acquaintance with
him. It was not a very long wait. Breakfast arrived about an hour later.
He closed the book and stood up. Keeping both the food-tray and the
book on his own seat, he begged to be excused. I made room for him to
pass. Before he came back I inspected the book. It was The Bhagavadgita
by Dr. S. Radhakrishnan. I too was a student of the Gita and knew how
engrossing the scripture is! He came back shortly and sat down murmuring
a word of thanks. On resuming his seat, he focussed all his attention
on the food. I, however, introduced myself and started talking. He turned
out to be a soft spoken and amiable person. His name was Abodharathnam.
He had stepped into his seventh decade a couple of years back. He had
been a lawyer. He had given up a lucrative practice when he was at the
height of his career. By then he had saved enough money to see him through
the rest of his life. He considered it better to make room for younger
persons. That was some twenty years ago. He was going round the country
on a circular ticket and was not very sure of his next station. He
gave me no little surprise. I had never heard of a practitioner of law,
medicine or accountancy retiring at all - far less in his forties. Even
amongst service-holders, hardly anyone retires early. Of course, some
retire early and take up another job. This they do to earn a higher
income by adding the pension to the new emoluments. Many attaining the
retiring age, beg for extension of service. If no extension is forthcoming,
they look for some other job. Not to speak of those who are really in
need of money, even those who have no such need can hardly accept a
total retirement cheerfully. There is always a demand for raising of
the retirement age of the Government Employees. All this passed through
my mind and I thought, `Abodharathnam must be crazy.’ “Are
you happy ?” I asked. “I
suppose I am,” he replied “In fact, you cannot even imagine
the extent of the peace and happiness I enjoy. It is of an extraordinary
nature.” “But
people say peace is a dream for worldly people. We read and even hear
of ascetics and Yogis who have attained to peace. I, at least, have
not, until now, met any one who has really attained to peace,”
I said. “Peace
is no dream. It is real and is within your reach,” he replied.
“What
could be the secret of your success?” I asked. His
answer was “An acute urge followed by a determination to achieve
it led me step by step towards peace. Happiness simply followed.”
When
I asked him more about it, he said, “In my teens, I felt that happiness
and peace should be my goal of life - not money, prestige, power or
position. With this goal in view, I started aspiring constantly for
peace and happiness. A stray verse of a poem or a moral of some story
would come in my mind to suggest something. I would try to follow the
lead. Later, when I became acquainted with the Gita, I learned to analyse
my own nature and find out its needs. After that the relevant teaching
of the scripture would appear in my mind at the right moment to suggest
what I needed to do at that moment. I would try to follow the lead in
all earnestness. Gradually a poise appeared. This poise, in course of
time, developed into the peace and happiness I currently enjoy.”
Being
a writer and journalist by profession, I have to move about all over
the country. I come across people from various strata of the society.
Whenever I find an opportunity, I try to pick up a conversation. In
the process, I have heard the life-stories of politicians, teachers,
doctors, lawyers, accountants, industrialists, businessmen, professional
managers, educationists, writers, poets, government officers, clerks,
vagabonds, ascetics, mendicants - all kinds of people. But never had
I heard anything close to what Abodharathnam said. I was intrigued.
`I might find a nice plot for an unusual story,’ I thought and
asked “do you have any objection to my asking you some personal
questions?” “Asking
is your business; replying is mine! But I do not promise to answer all
your questions,” he replied “and let me tell you straight
away that I shall not tell you anything about the Gita unless you have
devotion for Lord Krishna.” <M%-4>“Well,
I feel I have some. I know that the scripture prohibits talking about
it to persons who have no devotion for Krishna. As is the custom in
our family, I read one chapter of the Gita or another the first thing
every morning. In fact, I am carrying a copy of the Gita with me,”
I said. “That
settles the issue,” he said “you may start your queries.”
“What
if I had asked you about your past?” I said. “Well!
You are a journalist and a writer. If you decide to write about me,
my withholding of any answer about myself will not make much difference.
Your story-telling propensities will certainly invent a past for me.
That may be pure fantasy,” he said with a smile adding “I
also know that you will probably not depict correctly all I say. You
are bound to distort or exaggerate facts. Story-tellers almost invariably
build up their stories on meagre facts. Still, I shall try to answer
your questions as best as I can.” “Any
objection to my taking notes?” I asked. “None!”
he replied. “IT
SEEMS that your approach towards life is somewhat unusual. That is what
interests me. First of all, professionals do not retire. Secondly, you
say you started enjoying retirement in your early forties. Was it not
too early an age for retirement?” I asked. Abodharathnam
replied, “In my adolescence, I would wonder why people have to
work at all? Why do people have to follow disciplines that others set
for them? Why cannot people do as they like, and so on and so forth.
`I must be able to live my own life as I like’ - was the cry, I
would feel surging up from within me. As days passed, I came to understand
that it was money that makes one spend the whole of one’s life
working. Money is needed for finding the necessities of life. But, money
is a mistress that makes one run after her even after the need is more
than satisfied. When I had realised this I decided not to spend a single
moment more in earning than was absolutely necessary. I had to accumulate
just enough to see me through the rest of my life. `After that I shall
enjoy life as I like’ I would think. There was an injunction in
ancient India - `Retire to the forests when you cross fifty.’ I
had told myself that I must retire by fifty at the latest. Side by side
ran an urge in me to make a mark in the profession. This urge I owed
to Longfellow who had said - `In
the world’s broad field of battle, “I
had soon realised that as long as you earn, your profession does not
allow you to enjoy life much. It always retains a backward pull. Therefore,
I put my heart and soul into the work. I sacrificed everything else
- socialisation, sports, theatres and movies, clubs, parties - everything.
Moneywise also, I had been spending as little as I could manage with.
The bulk of my earnings would be invested to build up a decent fund
for my future. I invested all my money only in G.P. Notes and postal
securities. The rate of interest is low but the capital is safe. At
forty, I made an assessment. I found that I had saved enough to pass
the rest of my life at ease. It took me a couple of years to get out
completely from the profession. To come out abruptly from the profession
was no easy job. Along with money had come recognition, position and
honour. These made me feel myself someone important in the society.
In addition there was a strong backward pull by my clientele. I wonder
how my clients could compare me with God. But at that time I was quite
proud of it. I would even ponder if it would be proper for me to leave
them at large. There was the possibility of my rising higher and higher
in the profession. `Why not linger a little more. Heaven will not fall
in a few years!’ I would wonder. But my eyes fell on the old stalwarts.
Their practice, power, position everything had dwindled. They had become
the prey of acute frustration. It occurred to me that even the sun cannot
stay on the zenith for long. He has to set sometime. But, my mind would
argue, `You have not yet reached your highest. Why not wait till you
reach your peak?’ `But what is my highest? Everybody cannot rise
to the same height?’ I would ask myself. Gray appeared as my saviour
- `The
boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r, “This
would start ringing in my mind whenever I was carried by the entreaties
of the people around. “To
achieve my purpose I had also to cut out most of my friends and relations.
I kept connection with only a few close and intimate ones. It was my
strong conviction that a host of ordinary acquaintances was an unnecessary
appendage to life. Such acquaintances stand in the way of attainment
of peace and happiness. To be all alone was my idea of a real retirement.
This would give me all the opportunity to do as I liked. I would not
have to be accountable or answerable to any one for my actions and inactions.
Now, I am truly a free bird and can enjoy life my own way.” “WHAT
is your idea of enjoying life?” I asked. “The
core of it is to be able to do as I like. There will be nothing to prevent
my free movement. There will be nothing and no one to put a claim upon
my time. I should be free to submit to any discipline I may like. I
should also be free to come out of a discipline whenever I feel like.
It is quite enjoyable to submit oneself to a discipline and follow it
rigidly. It is like playing a game. Nowadays most games have become
professions and the players professionals. But, being an amateur and
playing well is a source of real pleasure to me. A sense of freedom
rules the mind. All tensions are kept away. If I do not want to submit
to any discipline, I can enjoy anarchy within myself. I must be free
to watch the tricks of a roadside juggler to my heart’s content,”
with a smile he added “I am quite mischievous at heart and enjoy
playing mischief with the people around. There should be nothing or
no one to prevent me from doing this. I am ever prepared to face the
untoward consequences of my own actions. It is needless to add that
I find immense pleasure in teasing people. This is what I mean by enjoying
life my own way.” “I
have heard other people say that they want to do what they like. But,
in trying to practise this, they are constantly clashing with some one
or other. You say you have achieved peace. Conflicts and clashes are
contrary to peace. How can you avoid clashes in doing whatever you like?”
I asked. “The
underlying principle is discrimination;” he said “when I say
I want to do as I like, I have to assume that others are also entitled
to do as they like. Then, I have to find a method of doing whatever
I like that will not disturb them in any way. Take a simple example.
I want to eat at a restaurant of my choice. Now, what is most important
for me is to eat at that very eating house. If I have to avoid a clash,
I have to be there before its closing time. Secondly, I shall have to
be prepared to wait if all the tables are full. Thirdly, I shall have
to allow the butler to take his time to come and take orders from me.
Lastly, I must give the chef all the time he needs to cook the food
I want. In ordering the food also I have to choose from whatever is
available at the moment. I have seen people entering a restaurant after
its closing hour and ordering things which are not available. When they
are told that the thing ordered is not available, they invariably pick
up a quarrel. This vitiates the whole atmosphere. At times the owner
is obliged to call the police.The secret lies in the attitude of the
person and his aim in life. My aim in life is to live in peace and I
act accordingly. There are some to whom life is insipid without quarrels
and clashes. They act differently. These are the people who declare
that quarrel and conflict are the spices of life.” “WHAT
you say is very sensible. What is your idea about discipline? Why do
you think there is so much of indiscipline around?” I asked. “Sometime
or the other all of us have to impose or enforce some discipline on
some person or group of persons. The commonest example is a parent who
has to discipline his child. The Lord says - `Whatever
the best does, the others imitate. The standard he creates the others
follow. I need not work at all. There is nothing that I do not have
or have yet to acquire. Even then, I go on doing some work or other
all the time, sleeplessly. If I do not, all the world will follow My
example and I shall bring down calamity on them.’ (Ch.3/21-24)
“It
is common knowledge that the inferiors like to imitate the superiors,
children like to imitate the elders. The Lord suggests that one should
learn to practise himself meticulously the discipline that he has to
enforce. `Do as I profess but don’t do as I do’ is the gospel
for people who have not learnt to discipline themselves. To set examples
by one’s actions is a must. A parent has to teach his child honesty
and truthfulness. A teacher has to build up the character of the child
in many respects. Most of their labour goes waste. This is because they
are not careful enough to desist from doing what they would not like
a child to pick up. This happens because they are not clear in their
minds as to the extent of their responsibilities,” he replied.
“Can
you give any concrete example of this?” I asked. Abodharathnam
said “In my younger days, I found my teachers confining themselves
to the teaching of the subjects allotted to them. They were not concerned
with and did not take any interest at all in the overall training of
the students. Take punctuality for instance. This was no particular
teacher’s subject. But, this is something they all wanted us to
learn. No teacher would hesitate to punish us for coming late to the
class. But, they themselves would often come late to the class and would
even continue the class after the bell. The next class getting delayed
was no consideration for them. Some would give the excuse of being overworked.
According to them it was difficult for them to maintain punctuality.
I would wonder, `but, Aesop’s Fable says - where there is
a will, there is a way!’ Some of the morals of the Fables had somehow
become kind of gospels to me. Later in my life, I have found many important
personalities deliberately making late in keeping appointments. This,
to them, is a method of making others feel their importance. There are
others to whom punctuality need be practised only in one’s money-earning
pursuits. For them it has no importance at all in the other spheres
of life. You will find ample examples of this among people holding important
positions. Be that as it may, the behaviour of the teachers would, in
my school and college days, seem hypocritical to me. Much later I came
to appreciate the real position. They were simply not alive to the fact
that their behaviour of every moment counts. It influences, to a very
great extent, the children of impressionable age. It plays a big role
in the development of their character. There was nothing hypocritical
in their behaviour. Children are ever fond of imitating the elders.
The acts and conduct of the elders influence them much more than their
teachings and preachings. I would better give you a concrete example.
One of my teachers had learnt to do certain things in a certain way
in his childhood. His ways were contradictory to the ways of our boarding
school. He considered and even would declare that his were the only
proper ways of doing those things. He would openly practise his own
ways instead of the ones laid down by our school. The authorities, for
reasons best known to them, did not interfere with his actions. He too,
of course, never asked us to follow his ways. We, his students, had
a tremendous liking for this particular teacher. His behaviour had a
very strong influence on us. His behaviour made us consider the disciplines
of our school to be of no real value. We were simply obliged to follow
them to avoid punishments. Much later in my life I understood that he
had set very bad examples for us. This had, in effect, made the value
of all disciplines almost nugatory to us. “Parents
also make similar mistakes. Take for instance my own mother. She would
expect me to be truthful. But, she would herself tell a blatant lie
to save me from the wrath of my father. The reason? - I was a very naughty
child and my father a poor sparer of the rod. He had been a lawyer and
would defend criminals in court. At the same time he would preach honesty
to us, his children. It was quite perplexing to me how he could preach
honesty on the one hand and defend dishonest people on the other. A
class-mate’s father would, without hesitation, pinch a pencil from
the office he was employed in. But, he would scold his son for stealing
another boy’s. In those childhood days, such behaviour of the elders
seemed quite strange to me. Nobody agreed with me that what the elders
were doing was not right. My contemporaries were of the opinion that
rules were meant only for children. They did not apply to grown-ups
who could do whatever they liked. Elders felt it was impertinent on
the part of youngsters to question their behaviour. “Later
in my life, I found certain persons holding important positions and
offices, absenting themselves from office without obtaining leave. They
would also go out holidaying with their families. They would leave an
application for leave with a blank for the day of its commencement with
one colleague or another. In case, on any day, they were needed by the
management, the colleague would fill up the blank and submit the application.
The day of commencement of leave would be the very day the management
looked for such officer. This would usually be done with the connivance
of the superior officers. In this way they would avoid a deduction in
the salary. They would not even keep this a secret from their children.
Naturally their children would grow up with the idea that there is nothing
wrong in this. Some of the present day teachers are also no exception.
In their case, the leave application is left with the Principal himself
and their classes are managed by their colleagues. Such teachers do
not find anything wrong in this. According to them, their responsibility
is to see that their classes do not go unattended by any teacher. They
collect their salaries for the days they did not work. They feel they
are justified in doing this. It is true that their colleagues did not
charge the institution any overtime pay for taking the additional classes.
But that is not morality, in the strict sense of the term! Students
all come to know of this and grow in the light of such irregularities.
We cannot expect anything better from such students when they start
their grown-up lives. This you will find among people of almost every
walk of life in the country. “My
perplexity remained until I read the Gita. A few readings of the scripture
made it clear to me why this country lacks in discipline so much. As
I have been telling you that the Lord has clearly advised the superiors
to set examples for the inferiors. But, the present day elders do not
understand the value of His advices. Discipline also finds no real acceptance
among the youngsters. The efficacy of the ancient institution of Brahmacharyashrama
also became clear to me. There the students would have to live with
the teachers for a number of years. The teachers could impart overall
education to the students by setting examples by their own acts and
conduct of every moment. This necessitated the teachers also to thoroughly
discipline themselves. “There
is another important factor to note. The present day idea of discipline
is something external. It is something that one is compelled to practise
outwardly. He may be revolting against it internally. Fear of punishment
or other legal complications make them suppress their real feelings.
They grudgingly and grumblingly follow the discipline. The Gita says,
`He,
who restrains the organs of action, but continues in his mind to remember
and dwell upon the object, has bewildered himself with false notions
of self-discipline.’ (Ch.3/6) “From
this it can be easily deduced that following a discipline outwardly
without accepting it from one’s heart is of no value. “Well!
I hope it is now clear to you why there is so much indiscipline around.
The words of the elders have no real effect on the youngsters. They
may follow their teachings for the time being for fear of punishment.
But, when they grow up, there is no reason for them to follow any discipline
that is not imposed by law. The Gita is widely read and taught in the
country. It is our misfortune that not many are inclined to follow what
the Lord said or the examples He had Himself set.” “There
may be many who might like to follow your example and retire early.
They may take this to be a good discipline to follow. Will that not
be harmful to the society? So many able bodied people would while away
their time!” I asked. “Why?”
he replied “A person finds provision for his whole life and retires.
He can learn to enjoy life with nothing to care for. This also creates
opportunities for the younger generation to start working early. People
go on working even when their mental and physical faculties dwindle.
Naturally, the quality of the work they do is likely to go down. You
may accept it or not, I personally feel, the intelligence is rising
higher and higher with every generation. The younger the generation
the better the work done. But, the older generation blocks the opportunities
of the younger. It cannot get going until the older generation vacates
to make room for it. It is quite difficult for a person to find a proper
employment before he is thirty. Being without proper employment for
a long period, some sort of lethargy and frustration lay hold of him.
To get rid of these takes time. Some become over-enthusiastic and restless
to learn their work quickly. This also is not a very healthy practice.
They can hardly learn to work properly. It is like trying to learn the
lessons of seven or eight classes at the same time. Certain fathers
go on obtaining extension after extension of their services. At the
same time they go on grumbling when their sons cannot find suitable
jobs. The counter question invariably is - `What is the guarantee that
my son will get a job if I retire?’ True! The whole lot of the
same age group has to retire and that can be made compulsory. Then only
the whole lot of younger persons can get jobs. I suppose this is the
reason why, since sometime past, early retirement is being widely encouraged.”
“I
HOPE your children have adopted your philosophy of life,” I remarked.
“I
have not yet met their mother,” was the reply. “Was
there any particular reason for your not marrying?” I asked. “None
at all!” he replied “It simply did not happen. My father died
just about the time he started thinking about my marriage. My zeal and
zest for making a mark in my profession did not give me much opportunity
to think of marriage. Of Course, some girls showed interest in marrying
me. But, a little closer contact with me scared them all away. I was
so preoccupied with my profession that I did not take much interest
in matters in which a normal young man would. Secondly, my primary goal
was peace. I was determined to achieve peace at any cost. This idea
did not find favour with any of the girls. According to all of them
finding peace in life is something absurd. They felt that one was bound
to become quite old before, if at all, one could find peace in life.
None of them could agree with me that one can really enjoy life, in
the true sense of the term, only after retirement. I could not impress
upon them that to retire one need not necessarily wait till one is old.
All the girls who had come into my life felt that marrying me would
mean converting themselves into a mere child-bearer cum house-keeper.
For them to marry me appeared to be a life without any recreation worth
the name. Moreover, the idea of a totally peaceful life was entirely
foreign to all of them. Conflict and quarrels are usually taken to be
the spices of life. Enjoyment of life for them was merely to follow
one’s whims and try to satisfy one’s desires. Little they
could appreciate that not many desires can be really satisfied in a
person’s whole life. At the back of my mind, there was also a fear
that children born to me would all be wayward. They would cause incessant
pain and agony to me throughout my life. This was predicted by an astrologer
of repute of those days. I had seen one old and very eminent lawyer
suffering, till his death, immense mental torture due to the conduct
and behaviour of his only son. This son of his would always commit some
misdeed or other. The old man had to go on paying compensation for those
misdeeds of his son, so long as he was alive. Looking at myself I found
that I was good only at pampering children. I lacked in the art of proper
bringing up of children. The words of Vishnusharma of ancient Indian
folk-tales would often reverberate in my mind - `The
dead child or the unborn is better than the worthless. The dead or the
unborn causes but little trouble while the worthless child is a constant
source of trouble for its parents.’ “All
these together prevented me from taking any initiative in the matter.”
“But
people, much more advanced in age than you, marry to find companions,”
I remarked. “You
are right. They need companions. But, I do not as yet find the need
of any companion, male or female. Secondly, my nature will not permit
any woman to live with me for long. As I have been telling you, I have
had a number of girl friends in the past. All of them invariably opined
that I was too practical a person for any woman to adjust with for long.
I would not like to make an innocent woman suffer because of my own
natural deficiency,” was his reply. “The
fashion of the day in the west is to live together without the bondage
of marriage. This practice is coming into India as well. Why cannot
you find a girl-friend and live together? You can separate any moment
if you do not get along well with each other,” I suggested. “The
idea did not occur to me. Secondly, I have not yet come across a girl
willing to live with me for the rest of my or her life,” he said
jokingly, “if any one comes, I shall consider your suggestion.
My primary object of life is peace. For that I am ever prepared to go
without any companion. But, please do not take me to be averse to women
in any way. I have all through gone on quite well with women.”
“WHAT
do you think of love?” was my next question. “Well!
It is a feeling of affection and goodwill for another. It is usually
accompanied by various expectations from the object of love. Most shocks
that lead to much suffering and unhappiness in life come from those
one loves. This I have learnt the hard way. May I tell you a story?”
was his reply. “Why
not?” said I. “I
had a close friend whom I loved intensely. We would talk with each other
about all our secrets. He was a rich person and owned many properties
including garden-houses. At one point of time, I had entered into a
contract for the purchase of a garden-house. It was a beautiful property
on a river, away from the noise of the town. I felt that the property
could make an ideal abode for my retirement. I talked to him about my
agreement. This friend of mine, whom I loved so much, hurriedly went
to the seller and purchased it off. He did this behind my back. The
seller started dodging me with lame excuses. When I threatened him with
legal action, he came out with the truth. I asked my money back only
to be told that it was my friend who had taken up the liability on himself.
I could not believe him. I rang up my friend and found that what I had
heard was true. Curiously, my dear friend did not make a refund of the
money until he was served with a lawyer’s notice! I cannot express
what agony I suffered due to this act of my friend. Such an act by any
other person could not cause such acute pain and agony to me. The reason
seemed to me to be my expectation of reciprocity of love, goodwill and
fair play from the friend. “Later,
when I analysed the matter, I understood that this man had no love for
me. To him life was all pound, shilling and pence! He had so much; yet,
he could not spare me this little property. If he had just asked me
once, I would have gladly let him have it. Then again, he withheld my
money. That too I would probably have presented to him if he had simply
asked for it. Such was my love for him. I felt pity for him. But, my
love for him did not dwindle. He, however, cut off all connection with
me. “It
then dawned upon me that all my agony and all my pain was due to my
expectation of love, goodwill and fair-play from him. Yes, I understood,
at the very least, one expects reciprocity and fair-play from the beloved.
One even imagines the withholding of love by the beloved at the slightest
cause. At times, the relationship becomes so strained that one feels
like forsaking love altogether. But experience shows that love, once
it touches a person, cannot be forsaken - whatever be the reason. It
may get clouded for the time being but soon reappears. All these taken
together make me feel that if one prepares himself to forgive all wrongs
of his beloved, he could lessen his own sufferings. The best way I could
think of is to try not to expect anything at all - not even fair-play
- from the persons I love. Later, when I read the Gita I found support
from the words of Arjuna - `I
bow down and prostrate before You and beg Your pardon O! adorable Lord!
Forgive me please as a father forgives all wrongs of his son, a friend
of his friend and a lover of his sweetheart.’ (Ch.11/44) “Well,
since I came across this verse, I have been trying to practise this
in all earnestness. Now I can shake off more or less quickly the expectations
that come to me from the people I love. I, in fact, try to be happy
with my own love for them. In addition, I have learnt not to have much
of attachment for anybody. This has in course of time extended itself
to material objects as well.” Abodharathnam paused. I
asked him, if he was right, why did Krishna have to argue so much to
induce Arjuna to massacre his near and dear ones? His
reply was “It was not love that had weighed so much with Arjuna.
It was the fear of sin that would ensue that made him decide against
the battle. The effect of the war would be the ruination of the entire
warrior community of the country (Ch.1/28-45). And this was the principal
cause of his grief.” “AND
about this fear of Arjuna?” I asked. <M%-4>“His
fear was the outcome of an impulse of grief that overpowered him. He
would have to kill his near and dear ones with his own hands. He was
no child. He knew his business and the people he had to fight against.
He was thoroughly prepared for the consequences. The mere physical presence
of those people in front of him was hardly any reason for him to change
his mind. Somehow a mixed fear of sin and grief suddenly engulfed and
confused him inducing him to lay down his arms. Krishna analysed for
him the entire situation threadbare and cleared up the confusion. This
enabled him to refrain from acting on the impulse of fear and grief.
He could then take his decision with a cool head and a clear conscience.
The words of the Lord are for all of us for whom the battle of Kurukshetra
is the battle of life. He asks us to go through the battle of life with
deliberate actions, well thought out and properly executed with a quiet
mind. The lesson is, even if we have to kill a person, we are not to
kill him on any impulse. “Now,
recall the words of the Lord - `Happy
and united [with God] is he who can contain the upsurge of desire and
wrath while living in the body.’ (Ch.5/23) “It
is needless to mention that desire and wrath, like grief, are nothing
but impulses. The principle laid down by the Gita, I felt, could easily
be extended to grief. It can also be extended to all other impulses
as well. All these together lead me to the conclusion that if one really
wants to be happy, he should not act on any impulse whatsoever. The
attempt to practise this has so far paid me high dividends,” he
replied. “BUT,
how can you extend the meaning of the verses of a scripture<M%-3>
so old as the Gita?” I asked. He
said, “This question had occurred to me in the initial stage. I
looked up various commentaries on the Gita to find out if any scholar
had anything to say on the subject. Sri Aurobindo, the ablest exponent
of the Gita of the modern age, has written in his Essays on the Gita
- `Not
indeed that everything without exception is seized in these eighteen
chapters [of the Gita], no spiritual problem left for solution; but
still so large a scheme is laid out that we have only to modify, to
stress, to follow out points, to work out hint and illuminate adumbration
in order to find a clue to any further claim of our intelligence and
need of our spirit.’ (10th Ed. p.326) “I
do not know the need of my spirit, but certainly it is the claim of
my intelligence that has led me to come to such conclusions. Fear and
grief are impulses. So are desire and wrath. Why then cannot I extend
the teaching relating to desire and wrath to all other impulses?”
“Could
you please explain this to me?” I requested. He
replied - “It can be deduced from some of the teachings of the
Gita that one should not be too insiste<M%-2>nt about anything
whatsoever. The Lord has said - `In
him whose mind dwells on the objects of sense with absorbing interest,
attachment to those is formed. From attachment arises desire. Desire
gives birth to anger. Anger leads to bewilderment. From bewilderment
comes loss of memory and by that the intelligence is destroyed. From
destruction of intelligence he perishes.’ (Ch.2/62-63) “The
desire spoken of here can only be an insistent desire. Various desires
come to our mind. Not all of them become insistent within us. If a non-insistent
desire is not fulfilled, we undoubtedly feel sorry for the time being
and forget all about it in no time. But an insistent desire drives us
to pursue our object madly. The perishing referred to by the Lord is
the perishing of the spiritual life. In ordinary life this can be taken
as the bringing down of calamity on oneself. This principle can be extended
to all other insistent desires as well. Take for instance (i) the insistent
desire to have always what one likes and to avoid what one dislikes
or (ii) to stick to one’s own ideas and opinions or even to one’s
readings of situations. “The
teaching that follows is - `Enjoy
the objects of the senses without likes or dislikes. This control of
oneself brings peace and satisfaction.’ (Ch.2/64) “I
have been trying to practise this teaching as well. I cannot say I have
always succeeded. But this teaching often comes to warn me in time and
enables me to try and correct myself. In course of time, I have learnt
to look into my own mind off and on and to watch its movements. At times
my latent defects and deficiencies become evident. And then I try to
rectify them. “In
this connection, the oft quoted teaching of the Gita may also be examined
- `You
are entitled only to the action and not to its outcome. Do not look
for the outcome, nor indulge in inaction.’ (Ch.2/47) “My
experience has been that when I do not insist on producing the best
results, I can work better. Eagerness to produce the best result often
clouds my mind and restricts my capacities. My concentration tends to
shift from the process to the result to come. This makes me miss some
step or other. As a consequence, the quality of the work suffers. Though
this is not always so, such is often the case. This has taught me that
I should work in all sincerity and with all concentration. But, I must
be prepared to accept without hesitation the outcome, whatever it may
be. I must cheerfully accept the outcome even if it be the opposite
of what is desired. If necessary, I should also be prepared to re-do
the work ungrudgingly. If I can look dispassionately into myself and
my work, I can easily find out if I am going wrong anywhere and correct
my mistakes in time. Of course, all this is my personal experience and
I cannot vouch for others. The most I can say to them is that it is
worth trying.” To
my query as to how such unusual meanings strike him, he said, “At
a certain time, some verse or other of the Gita started coming up in
my mind, without any apparent reason. This would invariably happen when
I would be busy with some work or engrossed in some thought. Initially
I did not attach much importance to this phenomenon. I would simply
brush aside the verse and carry on with my work or my thought. Next
came a time when the verse would refuse to leave me. It would go on
repeating itself in my mind persistently causing disturbance in my work
or in the thought I was busy with. It was rather a trying situation.
However hard I would try, I would not succeed in shaking it off. Once,
sheer exasperation made me stop the work at hand and to allow the verse
to have a free play in my mind. It soon occurred to me that the verse
had something to say about the work I was doing. A little deliberation
showed that I had missed a step and the verse was trying to point it
out to me. I started pondering over the probable reason for missing
the step. I soon discovered that my concentration was more on producing
the desired result than on the process to be followed. Since then I
have been attentive to the verses that come up in my mind. I try to
appreciate and follow their suggestions. Gradually a time came when
occasionally my limbs would literally freeze and prevent me from taking
certain actions. I would also, at times, find myself doing something
which, left to myself, I would possibly not do. Initially, this appeared
to be a very strange phenomenon to me. I wondered if I had become absolutely
helpless in the matter. Once I had even apprehended that I was being
possessed by some evil force. That time with a strong will I threw away
the suggestion and did what I wanted to do. Later it transpired that
what the force was leading me to do would have been the right thing
for me to do. What I did was absolutely wrong. Then I learnt that I
was being led to do the right thing at the right moment. I was also
being prevented from doing what would not justify itself in the long
run - though at that particular moment I might have felt otherwise.
Curiously, often the verses would come out of their contexts to guide
and control my actions. I cannot explain to you what a great relief
it was to find that I am always being guided by a friendly force from
behind the scene. I could certainly shake off the phenomenon with determination.
But, something in me wanted to give the phenomenon a free play. And
I was game.“ “Can
you give me a concrete example of this?” I asked. He
said, “I could not forget wrongs done to me and would try to take
revenge. I was never for an open fight or a quarrel - most probably
because I was physically very weak. My way was to cause mental pain
and agony to my opponent by patient and calculated moves. For this,
I might have had to wait for quite a long time for the right opportunity
to present itself. I would not grudge the time. When it was a question
of revenge, no rule of ethics could boggle me. The oft quoted teaching
of the Gita was the justification that I would give myself for causing
serious mental torture to my opponent - `You
are entitled only to the action and not to its outcome. Do not look
for the outcome nor indulge in inaction.’ (Ch.2/47) “But
this was not sufficient to relieve me of the pricking of my conscience.
I had been following this practice even before I had read the Gita.
I heard this particular verse being quoted by people so many times that
it had found a secure place in my memory. At that time, my idea of the
Gita simply was that it was a scripture of revenge. One should not be
puzzled by any idea of sin and catastrophe when it is a question of
revenge. The saying goes that there is nothing fair or foul in love
and war. That is what, I had assumed, Krishna induced Arjuna to do.
This idea was deeply embedded in me. When I read the Gita for the first
time, I found additional support in the words - `The
Lord accepts neither the sin nor the virtue of any one. Knowledge is
enveloped by ignorance. Thereby creatures are bewildered.’ (Ch.5/15);
`If
even the worst of criminals worships Me with unfaltering devotion, he
must be regarded as a saint. The settled will of endeavour in him is
a right and complete will.’ (Ch.9/30) “I
could since then commit sinful acts non-chalantly. It was much later
in my life that I understood the real implications of the Gita. Then
I realised that the Lord was repeating to mankind the eternal knowledge
which had got lost in the wildernesses of time. This He did using Arjuna
as a medium. After I had understood this, no prick of conscience could
bother me when I did something gravely unethical or had caused too much
of suffering to my opponent. Later, the teachings gradually brought
into me a sort of dependence on the force that had started acting in
me. I would even try to attract the force every now and then to help
me in my work. In the process, some sort of a complacency had set in
within me. It is this complacency that slowly built itself up into a
peaceful and pleasant evening of life for me.” Abodharathnam
paused for a while, lost in some thought. I waited for him to come out
of his reverie. The train was moving at full speed. The rhythmic difference
caused when it was crossing a bridge brought him back to the present.
He said, “It is very personal. Some others, against whom I have
long ceased to have anything, are involved in this. But the episode
I relate to you now is one of the most important episodes of my life.
“Sometime
after I had retired from the profession, I sold off all my belongings
and left home. I had with me only a couple of suitcases containing my
necessities. This included a number of commentaries on the Gita. Living
at my home town was too bothersome. My clients would pester me for going
back to the profession - at least for their sake. Close relatives and
acquaintances who needed legal assistance followed suit. This made me
realise that if I really wanted a retired life, I must leave home. “First
of all I went to a small town. The town was inhabited mostly by people
who worked in the nearby industries. It had a small market but no lodging
house. There was, however a sophisticated club containing several guest
rooms. It was a legacy from the Britishers, the erstwhile founders of
the industries around. The guest rooms were seldom occupied after independence.
I managed to become a member of the club. The management readily allowed
me to occupy one of the guest rooms on a permanent basis. “Every
evening the managers, assistant managers and other officers of the nearby
industries would gather there. Some of them would play cards, chess,
billiards, table-tennis etc. indoors. Some others would play tennis
and badminton out on the lawn. A number of them would simply drink and
chat. They would also bring their wives along. Most of them would eat
their dinner at the club. Dinner time was 9 O’clock. From the very
beginning I had to face the enmity of the younger members of the club.
These were the ones who would not usually take part in any game - indoor
or outdoor. I liked to come out of my room sometime before dinner time.
I would sit at a corner quietly watching them enjoy themselves. I had
no interest in the social life they lived and consequently in making
friends with them. Initially some of them, who were not interested in
any game tried to be friendly with me. But I did not give them much
encouragement. They started being rude to me and often insulted me without
any rhyme or reason. Within a short time I got thoroughly disgusted
with them. But I had already burnt my bridges and had no place to go
back to. Then came the fateful evening. “It
was a Saturday. Usually on Saturdays the members would come early and
hang on till late at night. That particular evening when I came out
of my room, about a dozen people, men and women, had gathered in the
centre of the hall. They had joined several tables together. Probably
they were having some sort of a party. They were making a real row.
The effect of alcohol was apparent on them. I quietly sat down in a
secluded corner, away from them, and started watching tennis. I could
hear some uncharitable remarks against me being loudly uttered at their
table. I started pondering over the animosity I was facing. The more
noise they made, the more I was filled with bitterness. I also tried
to think out how to quit the place early. I do not know how long I was
engrossed in the thought. A ear-piercing burst of laughter from the
other table startled me. Looking in that direction, I noticed that all
the people there were dramatically staring at me. They went on bursting
out into bouts of laughter one after another. One of the ladies seemed
to be the leader. She was the most beautiful and always appeared to
me very proud of herself. Her husband was the assistant manager of the
local factory owned by a big multinational company. Both the husband
and the wife were quite young and would be around twenty five years
of age. I felt so insulted that I got up and walked into my room. From
there, I rang the bell for getting my dinner served in the room. I had
a sleepless night. In the morning I decided to quit the club, come what
may. “After
breakfast, I went to the town to find, if I could, a temporary accommodation
anywhere as a paying guest. Cooking was my greatest problem. In fact,
I dreaded it. While I was walking towards the market place, I saw the
lady parking her car right in front of me. Our eyes met and I read mischief
in hers. Instantly the verse started ringing in my mind - `He
is a Yogi and a happy man who can contain the upsurge of desire and
anger while living in the body.’ (Ch.5/23) “I
could clearly feel that an impulse of disgust had led me to decide to
quit the club. The verse was trying to prevent me from acting on that
impulse. But, neither wrath nor desire had anything to do with it! A
little deliberation reminded me that disgust too was an impulse. I felt
that the verse wanted me not to act on the impulse of disgust as well
and for that matter on any impulse whatsoever. I have already told you
all about this reading of mine of the verse. I wanted to test the suggestion
that came up in my mind and postponed the action I had planned. The
impulse subsided within a few days. I felt like avenging the wrong done
to me. I also remembered that the Gita was spoken to Arjuna to make
him avenge the wrong done to him and his family. `I must,’ I thought,
`teach them a good lesson before I leave the town.’ My mischief-making
propensity raised its head. I decided to pay them back in their own
coin i.e., by winning this lady’s heart. “My
moves had been slow and well calculated. One day, when they were making
noisy gestures at me, I got up from my seat and slowly walked up to
their table. My eyes were fixed on the lady. When I reached their table,
I politely addressed them, my eyes always on her, `Ladies and gen’lemen,
I’ve a favah to ask. ‘Dit bhee abs’ly imphos’ble
to bhee wee bhi’ quietah (Ladies and gentlemen, I have a favour
to ask. Would it be absolutely impossible to be wee bit quieter)?’
- in their own intonation. They were all taken aback. The lady fumbled
a `no’. `Lotsa thanks!’ said I, and walked back to my seat.
After this they would really be quieter, polite too. For a few days
I watched the lady carefully and found her casting a quick glance at
me off and on. These would go unnoticed by the others. My next move
was to make passes at her unnoticed by her companions. The first time
I did this, she had blushed and looked away. Within a few days, I could
feel that she had been enjoying and even expecting my passes. My move
after that was to make a pass at her in full view of one or the other
of the ladies. The first time I did this, there were two ladies with
her. Both of them looked back to find her acknowledging it. It was a
sight for the Gods to watch their faces at that moment. These three
appeared to be close friends. They would, more often than not, be found
together, in the club. I repeated the same trick on the next two days.
I do not know what had passed between the three. The first lady started
avoiding looking at me when the others were around. But she would give
me a quick glance whenever she would be alone. The other ladies started
taking care not to leave her alone at the club. I then wrote a letter
to the lady stating that I read love in her eyes. If I was right in
my reading, she should come forward so that we could work it out. If
I was wrong, she should not look at me ever again. Her whole bearing
changed. She looked a bundle of nerves. She took a week to make a scrappy
reply. By that she denied her love for me and started looking away from
me. Her hand-writing was really beautiful, as she herself was. Her language
too was chaste enough to suggest that she was well educated. But what
she wrote was incoherent. The few lines she had written contained half
a dozen silly spelling mistakes. I could visualise how nervous she had
become. As I had anticipated, she could not hold her eyes back from
me for long. On the third day she gave up the chase. Then, I could see
her suffer acute mental pain and agony. She was married and quite young.
I had stepped between her and her husband, who was really well placed
in life. Against that she knew nothing about my background and I was
quite an old man. And I had her fate in my grip. To add fuel to the
fire that I had ignited, I started writing to her occasional letters
in a harsh language. My intention was to torture her more. Once, I had
even thought of uprooting her from her settled moorings and then leaving
her at large. But, the advice of the sadhu guru to his cobra disciple,
as related by Sri Ramakrishna, came to my mind to act as a restraint
- `Hiss
as much as is necessary to defend yourself but never bite to harm another.’
“Silently
she went on bearing acute mental torture for months together. When she
could bear it no longer, she walked into my room one morning when no
other member was around. She broke into tears and collapsed on a chair.
My purpose was served. I sat quiet and let her take her time to come
round. Certain verses of the Gita passed through my mind. They suggested
that all that had happened was the doing of the Lord and His Nature.
They were - `(i)
The Lord is seated in the heart of all beings turning them mounted upon
a machine by His Maya; (Ch.18/61) `(ii)
None can be totally idle even for a moment. Everyone is made to act
helplessly by the modes of Nature; (Ch.3/5) @QUOTE = `(iii) All actions
are being entirely done by the modes of Nature. The human soul bewildered
by egoism feels that it is he who is the doer; (Ch.3/27) `(iv)
He who can feel that all action is really done by Nature, and that he
is not the doer, is the seer; (Ch.13/30) `(v)
Vain is your resolve, that in your egoism you say `I will not fight’.
Your nature will yoke you to your work.’ (Ch.18/59) “This
was the first time when I concretely felt that everything that happens
to us follows the will of the Lord. We are helpless spectators. We do
not have anything in our powers to prevent it or even to alter its course.
What we can do is to try and discover good fortune hidden behind the
garb of untoward events. I was filled with tenderness. “When
she regained herself, I started talking. I told her that all that I
did to her was to avenge the wrong that she and her companions had done
to me. She told me that the initial incident had nothing to do with
me. She said that they were simply re-enacting a scene of a drama they
had enacted in the club shortly before I had come to live there. It
was by accident that they were facing me at that moment. According to
her I had misread the incident and consequently misunderstood her and
her companions. Naturally, I was not prepared to accept her statement.
But, my tongue froze preventing me from raising any controversy. “I
do not know what her words did to me, I found myself reciting the verses
to her slowly. I asked her to take whatever had happened to her as the
doing of the Lord. I also found myself advising her to read the Gita
to find solace in all sorrow and grief. `Misfortune was really good
fortune in disguise,’ I told her `one day you will be able to understand
the inner purpose of this episode. Then you will feel happy that this
had happened to you.’ “The
words had come out of my mouth involuntarily. I could realise that they
were meant to be advices for myself as well. “`What
you say is too much for me,’ she said `I have heard my elders say
that the Gita is the recluse for old people. Whenever anything went
wrong, my grandmother would repeat that whatever God does is for our
good. But I have not found, as yet, any untoward incident turning to
good. I shall try to do what you ask of me. I shall really be happy
if I can find misfortunes to be good fortunes in disguise. For the present,
please torture me no more; if you do, I am sure to go mad!’ She
looked into my eyes. Tears rolled down her cheek again and there were
entreaties in their expression. She then stood up and took my hands
in hers saying, “Please...” I also stood up and uttered with
all tenderness, `Thy will be done.’ I led her by the hand to the
courtyard, where her car was parked. I opened the door for her to get
into the driving seat. When she started the vehicle and put it on gear,
I shut the door saying `Good bye!’ She waved a `bye’ and slowly
drove off. “Back
to my room, I gave a long thought to the whole episode. I analysed my
own mental actions and reactions threadbare, time and again. It was
a long deliberation. In the end, I came to the conclusion that it was
necessary for me to read the incident the very way I had read it. It
is that reading alone that could lead the teachings of the Gita to take
a hold on me and to bring me experiences which have long lasting effects
on me. I realised that it was right for me not to insist on justifying
my own reading of the incident. If I did, an unnecessary argument was
likely to follow which would serve no one’s interest. Right at
that moment, the verses, suggesting that one should not be too insistent
about anything whatsoever, passed through my mind. I felt that after
all, as human beings, we are all prone to mistakes every now and then.
It was nothing improbable for me to misread the incident and misunderstand
the lady and her companions. More often than not we misread situations
and consequently misunderstand and misjudge people. It is all because
our imagination plays quite a big role in the matter. Our mental condition
of the moment is very important. Suggestions coming from people’s
observations and past experiences also misguide us. Ego and self-righteousness
demand that we insist upon our being right in all we do, read, understand
or judge. This they do even though we cannot be sure of our stand. Most
controversies crop up in this way - most of the time unnecessarily.
It is through this game of mischief that the Gita taught me to try to
resist the upsurge of all impulses. I also learned not to be too insistent
about anything. It made me start trying to feel the hand of the Lord
in everything that happens to me. My heart was filled with gratitude.
Suddenly I found ringing in my mind the words of Arjuna - `I
bow down and prostrate before You and beg Your pardon O! adorable Lord!
Forgive me please, as a father forgives all wrongs of his son, as a
friend of his friend and as a lover of his sweetheart!’ (Ch.11/44)
“Listening
to it for some time, I felt a pleasantness slowly engulfing me. `My
God!’ I realised `this verse suggests that a weakness has grown
in me for this girl. That means, even if my reading of the incident
was not incorrect, it is incumbent upon me to forgive her! This complicates
the matter. The weakness of the two of us for each other may lead to
much disorder in our lives. That will not be conducive to my interest.
I want peace at any cost. It is better to nip such a possibility of
disorder in the bud. I must leave the town this very moment!’ “By
that time, I had learnt not to think much about my abode of retirement.
I had come to know that the Railways issue circular tickets for going
round. I decided to go round the country and to settle down at a place
that I would find most suitable for my purpose. The National Highway
ran past the next block. I gathered up my things and took the next bus
to the nearest railway station. It was some twenty miles away,”
Abodharathnam stopped. “PLEASE
tell me what you think of politics,” I said. “Well,
I do not know much about it. While at school, I was recruited into one
of the political parties. I was being trained to fight for the freedom
of the country. The person, who recruited us, was then a very spirited
young man of about twentytwo. He taught us, the young recruits, to go
through various physical hardships. He instilled in us a love for the
country and prepared us to sacrifice our lives to earn freedom for the
country. He was like a real elder brother to us and a great follower
of Krishna. He would say - `Look
at Him! He whirls the wheel of the chariot [meaning the Sudarshana Chakra]
on his forefinger and hurls it at his enemy! You have all to be as strong
as Him.’ “We
would not hesitate to do all the physical exercises he would ask us
to do. We were prepared to jump into the fight and were waiting for
his directions. We were all in our teens. But, before we joined the
actual fight, the country became free. Our objective was achieved and
we broke off from the party. I was not interested in the administration
of the country, nor was he. But later, I had occasion to watch closely
the workings of political leaders. I found that most of them were not
certain of their role in the affairs of the country. They needed proper
education in that respect. I could feel that an overall change was necessary
in the country’s education system. Otherwise, it would be impossible
for the nation to stand up on its own legs. The system of education
introduced by the Britishers in the country was meant only to manufacture
faithful clerks by the thousand. It was not proper education for our
countrymen. The Britishers were bent on keeping us subservient to them.
They had been using bribes to find out who of us were secretly taking
part in the fight for freedom of the country. Most of us did not have
much of nationalistic feelings. Then there was the offer of a high position
in life or handsome amounts of money. We had become selfish and greedy
due to the foreign domination over the centuries. Most of us would betray
our brothers and sisters for a few silver coins. The character of the
nation, in general, had dwindled. We need a totally new system of education
to rebuild our national character. “As
far as I understand of our own history, India was never politically
one in the early days. We had more or less a common religion and common
customs throughout the land that is India. But it was divided into many
small kingdoms - each trying to establish its supremacy over the others.
We read of the Ashwamedha Yajna. It had the purpose of compelling all
the kingdoms to accept the supremacy of the king performing the Yajna.
Had there been an united India, such a Yajna would be completely unnecessary.
The Muslims would have slender chance of conquering the country. The
Britishers would also have little possibility of reigning over us. When
the Britishers came, there still were several spirited kingdoms in the
country. They consistently defended themselves against the attacks of
the British so long as they could. It is the British Government that
unified the territories and made India into a single colony. This they
did solely for the purpose of a more efficient administration. The idea
of a single nation was born in us only about a century or so ago. Before
this, our nationalistic feelings were confined to our respective territories.
“The
little nationalistic feeling that was growing early in the twentieth
century was sold to purchase freedom for the country. We agreed to divide
the country into two. “Also,
there are certain things that were nationalistic before independence
but have turned quite anti-nationalistic now. The Britishers had imposed
certain taxes. We always felt that it was a process by which the foreigners
were extracting money from us to enrich their own coffer. In our attempt
to resist it, we would take recourse to all sorts of devious means.
Take for instance sales tax. We would walk into a shop and ask for the
price of a particular object. The shop-keeper would quote the price
adding, `if you want a bill and if not it will be five per cent less.’
We all knew, that five per cent was the sales tax. When we had to account
for the expenditure in pen and ink, we would ask for the receipt. Otherwise
we would save some amount of money for the country and consequently
for ourselves. The Britishers would subsidise the prices of all sorts
of consumers’ goods for certain categories of government employees.
Those employees were entitled to the benefit even after their retirement.
This subsidy was meant only for the employee for the use of himself
and his dependants. But, this was not written in the rules. Many of
such employees would take this opportunity to purchase things for all
the people of their respective villages. Such villagers could by no
stretch of imagination be entitled to the subsidy. We deliberately did
this. Our idea was to snatch away from the government a portion of the
money it had extracted from us for transfer to England. We have not,
as yet learnt to associate ourselves with the administration of the
country. We still feel that the administration is different from and
burdensome to us. As a result, we have no hesitation to continue the
practice in respect of taxes and subsidies even now. It does not occur
to us that by this we are depriving our own nation of its legitimate
dues. All this is entirely due to our lack of education in nationalism.
“We
never thought it necessary to discard the system of education introduced
by the Britishers. We were and still are continuing to follow the same
type of education. We had not learnt to depend on ourselves. Naturally,
even after independence we had been looking to the West for guidance
in every respect. The changes we have so far introduced in our system
of education can be compared with storing of old wine in a new bottle.
Since independence, every year most of the best students of all of the
Universities of the country had been going away to the Western Countries.
They are offered handsome scholarships and enormous physical comfort.
They could not and even now cannot deny such allurements. Very few of
the good students stayed back. Their number was too little to take up
the whole administration of the country. Naturally, incompetent people
entered the field. Half of a century has passed in this way. We are
still in the grip of the illusion that the West will help us. We feel
proud to call ourselves a developing nation rather than an underdeveloped
one. We are not ready to assert supremacy over the Western countries.
What is deplorable is that we are not even attempting to be superior
to the other nations of the world. One day, the West will have to close
its doors to our students. Then the cream of our youth will be obliged
to stay back in the country. Consequently, they will have to come forward
to take up the reins of the country’s administration. That day
does not seem to be very far. The effects of the war in the Western
countries are ending. The decrease in population, a result of the war,
is now made up. There are rumours that unemployment has started raising
its head in the West. Naturally, the West will soon be obliged to stop
purchasing foreign brain. The Western countries will first have to provide
jobs for the children of their own soils. Wait for a score more years
and you will see the result,” he replied. “But,
what should the country do at the present juncture?” I asked. “Do
not be disheartened!” he said “May be our progress is slow
but, we are definitely advancing. Just think of what was there in the
country before independence. We did not even have a radio per town.
Today you will find more than one T.V. set and even video sets in the
villages. Look at the number of fast moving trains that have been introduced
in the country. Look at the number of buses and lorries plying on our
roads and highways. Look at the number of planes flying over our sky.
Look at the boom in the production of consumer goods. We are not lagging
behind in any respect. Our sole poverty is in our mentality. We still
feel that the foreign products are better than our own - an idea that
was carefully embedded in us by the British rulers. We have all the
material, all the know-how and all the workmanship necessary for good
craftsmanship. But, we have to cut down the quality of our products.
Otherwise we cannot make up the difference between the prices of the
indigenous products and imported goods. Our production of foodgrains
is also increasing in proportion with the increase of our population.
Of course, we have a long way still to go. But we should not grudge
the time. India, as a nation, is not even fifty year old. The most powerful
instrument for building the nation is the newspaper. If you notice carefully,
you will find that better brains have already started entering into
journalism. You are yourself a journalist and a thinker. If you are
really interested in the welfare of the country, think out what should
be the best education for our children. Then work for it through the
medium of the newspaper,” he stopped with a smile. “Do
you personally not have any responsibility towards the country?”
I asked. “Only
to maintain a goodwill for Her and to pray for Her well-being. Everybody
is not meant for everything. I have analysed myself carefully. I have
found my nature quite incompatible with politics. The Lord has said,
`It
is better to stick to the work that is natural to one even if one can
do better in a work not natural to him. It is better to die following
one’s own nature, but what is not natural is disastrous’.
(Ch.18/47 and Ch.3/35) “By
nature I am a loner and prefer to live in my own mind. I do not think
that any useful purpose can be served by diversifying myself. If my
ideas have commended to you, you will yourself use your pen to work
for them. So! Why should I bother about all this? Who knows the purpose
for which the Divine arranged this meeting between you and me? Maybe
that through you he intends to propagate my philosophy. I would better
take that chance and keep quiet rather than to jump into unnecessary
activities.” “LET
us have your views about the laws of the land. Why don’t they work
well?” I asked. “What
do you know of Law?” he asked. “Precious
little!” I replied. Abodharathnam
said, “We have given a go bye to our own laws. Those had emanated
from the Vedas, the Smritis and the Good Custom of the ancient days.
The Mughals had introduced some portions of their laws in the country.
Those particularly related to the administration of justice. The British
imported their own laws to this land. These were twofold viz. (i) Substantive
i.e. those create, regulate or restrict the rights of the citizens,
and (ii) Procedural i.e. the procedures to be followed in the courts.
On independence, we gave ourselves a Constitution. By this we had declared
the fundamental rights of the citizens and the method of administration
of the country. Administration is divided into three independent institutions
viz. (i)) the legislature, (ii) the executive and (iii) the judiciary.
We have one set of the three for the centre and one for each state.
The legislature is constituted by election. Its function is to make
laws according to the rules laid down by the constitution. If in making
a law any provision of the constitution is violated, the law is liable
to be struck down by the court. The function of the executive is to
run the administration of the country according to the laws made by
the legislature. It consists of the President at the centre and the
governors in the states. They take the policy decisions according to
the laws of the land. They are to act on the advice of a council of
ministers. This council is constituted by the leader of the majority
party from amongst the elected members of the legislature. The execution
of these policy decisions is the responsibility of the various categories
of officers, including police officers. The names of the superior categories
of officers are published in the official gazette of the country or
the state as the case may be. These officers are known as gazetted officers.
If any action of the executive is violative of any rule of the constitution
or any law of the country, such action also is liable to be set aside
by the court. The judiciary means the aggregate of the courts of the
country or the states concerned. Its duty is to decide disputes according
to law and where punishment is called for, to punish the culprit. “In
making our constitution, we borrowed the best rules from the constitutions
of the other nations. These rules work excellently well in the countries
of their origin. But, in our country, they cannot work efficiently.
We had to amend our constitution at least three-scores of times in about
fortyfive years of our independence. Most of our laws, both substantive
and procedural, are borrowed from England. These work there excellently.
But in our country they are complete failures. The reason is that the
laws are not natural to us, the children of the soil. We cannot correctly
appreciate the implications of those laws. When we find any law restricting
any of our activities, we go to lawyers and ask for `legal advice.’
This is a misnomer. The lawyers find out loop-holes in the law and show
us the way to circumvent it. Somewhere I had read an English translation
of an article in Bengali written more than a century back by the renowned
Bengali writer, Bankim Chandra Chatterjee. He was the composer of the
song `Vande Mataram’ and was a judge. He was full of sarcasm. I
may not remember the exact terms used but I can tell you the gist: `All
courts take quite a long time to decide cases. Justice delayed is justice
denied. `No
judge can be blamed for the delay. The number of courts is too small.
There is a single judge where three are needed. In such circumstances,
delay is bound to occur in disposing of a case. That apart, the current
legal system is extremely cumbersome. It necessitates a lot of documentation
and observation of formalities. Excessive cross examination of a single
witness in one case covers a full day. As a result, five other cases
get postponed by at least another month. On another occasion, an insignificant
witness fails to turn up. A warrant of arrest has to be issued to compel
his attendance. A month’s time is to be allowed for the purpose.
If such procedures are not complied with, the decision becomes defective
and liable to be set aside in appeal. Delay can be tolerated. Even injustice
can be tolerated. What cannot be tolerated at all is non-compliance
with the law of procedure. This is the pith and substance of the British
judicial system. `This
shows that we are becoming civilised. Our country is prospering day
by day. We did not have good law. Laws have now been imported from England.
Transported by ship and unloaded at the Chandpal Ghat, they are baled
in a Calcutta factory. These are selling in the provinces at somewhat
high prices. They have given birth to a number of modern business activities
viz. advocacy, dispensing of justice, clerical and administrative functions
etc. The new traders are incessantly chanting praises of their respective
merchandise. People, who had no capacity of earning even a simple living,
have started minting money by giving lectures and speeches. The country
is enjoying illimitable prosperity. Justice is now administered all
over the country in strict compliance with the law. No one can now do
justice by violating the procedural laws. Only the poor are sorry. They
cannot appreciate the value of the laws of procedure. They want justice.
This is the mistake they make due to their ignorance.’ “Our
own laws were derived principally from the scriptures that are eternal.
Read the Smritis. You will find that they can still hold good even after
the lapse of so many centuries. Some changes may be necessary here and
there. But they can provide the foundation of our own legal system.
The problem is, not many people are interested in digging them out and
making the research necessary to suggest the needed alterations. “Apparently,”
he continued “the situation looks gloomy but there is no cause
to be disheartened. What is eternal is bound to prevail. Hear the promise
of the Lord - `Whensoever
there is the fading of Right and Justice and there is uprising of unrighteousness,
then I loose myself forth into birth [i.e. I create myself] by my own
Maya; `For
the deliverance of the good, for the destruction of the evil-doers,
for the enthroning of the Right, I am born from age to age.’ (Ch.4/7,
8)<P10.5M>” “PLEASE
tell me what you think of philanthropy,” I asked. “The
Gita says” he quoted - `You
grieve for those who should not be grieved for. Yet you speak words
of wisdom! The wise man grieves neither for a dead nor for a living
person. He who is born is bound to die. He who is dead is bound to take
rebirth. That is inevitable. So, death s<M%-2>hould not be the
cause of your sorrow. Even if this is our first and the last birth we
are all bound to die - why then grieve for nothing?’ (Ch.2/11,
27 and 26)” “What
does the Lord mean by this?” I asked. “This
reminds me of an experience. I went to visit a famous temple. Near the
main gate of the temple a number of small children were begging for
alms. One of them, a tiny little one, would not leave me alone until
I placed a 25 paise coin in his hand. There was a shop nearby where
an old lady was selling photos of various deities. She was shouting
out something that I did not bother to hear. It did not even strike
me that she could have anything to tell me. Now, she jumped up from
her seat and came charging at me - `Why
did you give him money? Have I not been asking you not to give him anything?
What do you mean by spoiling the children of the country by giving alms?
What will happen if they do not get alms? They will not find food and
they will die! Die they will in any event - why not today? It is because
of people like you that the whole country is turning to beggars.’
“Her
words had a tremendous impact on me. I spent many a sleepless night
deliberating on these words. The leader of our childhood days, the one
who had recruited us to the political party, would also say - `Never
give alms to anybody. It is this giving of alms that has made our whole
nation Tamasic. Tell the people who come to beg to go and snatch food
from the sweetmeat shops if they are really hungry. If they get caught,
they will be sent to prison. There they will get used to hard labour
and will learn to earn when they come out. It is much better to make
thieves or robbers of people than to make beggars of them.’ “Giving
alms to the poor would, in earlier days be considered as a pious act!
<M%-2>I am reminded of Tennyson - `The
old order changeth, yielding place to new, “In
ancient India it was only the sadhus and sannyasins who would beg. Apart
from finding food, it had the purpose of teaching them humility. This
is still a part of their discipline. That is why people were encouraged
to give alms freely. They were taught to see the Lord Himself in the
disguise of sadhus and sannyasins. Krishna said, `Due to the long passage
of time the age-old teaching has dwindled’. So too has dwindled
this age-old practice of begging adopted only by sadhus and sannyasins
who offer themselves totally to God. Begging has now become the occupation
mostly of Tamasic people. Robbing and stealing has a Rajasic element
in it. That is very much necessary for the nation that is submerged
in deep Tamas. Further, giving of alms has given rise to a trade. The
traders make beggars of poor children by deforming them physically.
They make themselves rich on what these deformed people get by begging.
It is time for abolishing begging in the country. All these together
has made me somewhat averse to philanthropy,” Abodharathnam said.
“WHAT
do you think of women’s rights and their present condition in the
society? Do we not have to do anything to prevent tortures faced by
women? Even in this age we get reports about killing of newly married
brides as their parents could not keep up their commitment of dowries.
Reports abound regarding women being punished for coming out of the
house without covering their faces. Many widows are driven out of their
houses and made destitutes,” I asked. Abodharathnam
remained silent for a while and then said, “In ancient India women
probably enjoyed a much greater freedom than at present. My feeling
is that it is the conquest by the Mughals that had put them completely
behind the purdah. In those days the rulers would just pick up or pull
out of the house any girl they felt like, and put them in their harems.
Their officers too followed suit. So it became dangerous for any woman
to move out in the streets even with their husbands and relatives. The
Muslim system of Burkha came up as a handy defence. They were obliged
to go behind the curtain. To keep daring girls away from harm, the elders
took recourse to punishing them. A shield to save them from harm had
gradually turned into a weapon to torture them. But the times are slowly
changing. Since independence the position of women has improved. Many
of them have joined various professions. Some are also showing excellence
in their work. The way it is moving, it seems that not many more decades
will be needed for the women of our country to stand on an equal footing
with men. But, I have a personal feeling that the women of India, by
and large, <M%-2>do not as yet want to stand on their own legs.
They want a husband, a family and a household for the rest of their
lives. This seems to me to be the root cause of their suffering. You
may say that they are not sufficiently educated to break out of the
age old practice of staying locked up in the household. This too is
their own problem, not a problem for the men to solve. “In
most of the reports you speak of, you will find that behind the torture
of a woman there is another woman as instigator or helper. This makes
the problem all the more complicated. <M%-2>“As
for myself, in my younger days I felt that I should do something for
the emancipation of women. I had even thought of joining the organizations
that build and run homes for destitute women. I was enamoured of the
story of Rammohan Roy. He had caused the British Government to legislate
in the matter. But, since I had read Swami Vivekananda, I am quite convinced
that I have nothing to do in this regard. He says - `Liberty
is the first condition of growth. It is wrong, a thousand times wrong,
if any of you dares to say, “I will work out the salvation of this
woman or child.“ I am asked again and again, what I think of the
widow problem and what I think of the woman question. Let me answer
once for all - am I a widow that you ask me that nonsense? Am I a woman
that you ask me that question again and again? Who are you to solve
the women’s problems? Hands off! They will solve their own
problems. O tyrants, attempting to think that you can do anything for
anybody! Are you the Lord God that you should rule over every widow
and every woman? Hands off! The Divine will look after all. Who are
you to assume that you know everything? How dare you think, O blasphemers,
that you have the right over God? For don’t you know that every
soul is the soul of God? Mind your own Karma; a load of Karma is there
in you to work out. Your nation may put you upon a pedestal, your society
may cheer you up to the skies, and fools may praise you; but He sleeps
not, and retribution will be sure to follow, here or hereafter.’
(Complete Works, 9th Ed. Vol.III, p.246). “Talking
of philanthropy, law, justice, politics etc. reminds me of a poem I
had read in the lower half of a sheet of a newspaper in which the grocer
had wrapped for me something that I forget. The name of the newspaper,
the title to the poem and who the poet was all must have been in the
other half. It said - `Morality
is now a word of the past, “WHAT
do you think of disease and death?” I asked. “Sri
Ramakrishna has said, `The body has to pay rents and taxes for living
in a house. Similarly, the soul also has to pay rents and taxes for
living in the body. Diseases are the rents and taxes that the soul has
to pay for living in the body.’ Just now I have told you what the
Gita says about death. `Death is the only certainty of life’ -
I forget who said this. Nonetheless, it is inevitable. Parents teach
children to fear death. We take all precautions to avoid death. But,
who has been able to avoid it? Yudhishthira in his answer to Yaksha’s
question said - `Everyday
people are dying in numbers but those remaining wish to live for all
times to come. What else can be a greater wonder?’ “My
personal idea is: when death is inevitable why not prepare myself to
welcome it when it comes and enjoy the process of it!” After
a short pause he continued, “I have a disease which is apparently
incurable. Some friend of mine or other has always a treatment for my
disease to suggest and a physician or medicine man to recommend. Initially,
I would act according to their suggestions and run about from here to
there only to be disillusioned. At that time I would always be wanting
a cure for my disease. I would get worked up when one treatment failed.
I was relieved of that malady when one day suddenly I remembered the
words of the Lord that describes how pondering over an object of sense
leads a person step by step to disaster. “A
few days later I had a dream: I saw myself waking up with an idea ringing
in my mind that I had passed through various stages of life and I had
varied experiences which not many people can experience in one life.
I had come through places unscathed, from which hardly anyone can return.
Lately a serious disease had developed in me making it difficult for
me to breathe without the aid of medicines. Death had now become a matter
of days for me. I was scared of death and now it was time for me to
get ready to shake off the fear and to welcome and embrace death when
he came. There was a picture of the Lord in the room. I turned to it
and told Him that I had no capacity to do all this and He could prepare
me for the event if He so pleased. After I had told Him this, I found
myself floating blissfully in a wide sea with no sign of any shore anywhere.
The only thing I could see is that a spotless blue sky was meeting the
sea of the same colour somewhere in front of me as if the sky and the
sea were one. I felt that life and death were also one. How long I was
enjoying this, I do not remember. The ring of an alarm clock in the
neighbourhood woke me up. When I woke up I experienced a solid peace
reigning over my whole being. `This seems to be what is called rising
above life and death!’ I told myself, `Will the Lord give me such
an invaluable boon so easily!’ Since then, I find myself prepared
for the eventuality. The disease also seems to me to be a boon. Whenever
it aggravates, I can feel that the Lord is staring at me from the picture
with a loving smile and this itself is a source of joy to me. I remember
always the words of Sri Aurobindo. He says - `The
torment of the couch of pain and evil on which we are racked is his
touch as much as happiness and sweetness and pleasure.’ (The
Essays on the Gita, 10th Ed. p.368) “I
have no words to express how these words help me bear all physical pain
and agony. Inspite of all physical pain and agony, these words help
me to somehow maintain my mental peace,” he stopped. I
ASKED him how he passed his time at present. The reply was “I render
voluntary service as a part time receptionist at a Dharmashala. This
I do for about a couple of hours every morning. I go to listen to music
or watch dance programmes at the Local theatre whenever such a programme
is staged. I listen to music played on the radio or from records. I
roam about in the streets for sometime. I read for a while and mostly
sit quietly on my reclining chair. If there is anyone to talk to, I
talk though such occasions are rare.” “What
do you like to read most?” was my next question. “The
Gita,” was the instant reply. “How
much of the Gita do you read in a day?” I asked. “It
depends on various factors. Some day I can go on reading the whole scripture
at a time. Some days I cannot read more than a few verses. This usually
happens when a verse or set of verses occupies my mind and suggests
something hidden behind. I have to keep quiet for a long time, even
for days together, trying to find out what these suggestions mean. At
times I go on reading and re-reading the same verse over and over again.
There is no fixed rule for me for reading the Gita.” “You
said, you listen to music,” I began “what sort of music interests
you - Indian or western, classical or pop?” “I
have learnt to listen to all sorts of music. Left to myself, I would
prefer Indian Classical Music. It is an institution by itself. A competent
exponent of Indian classical music can fit in and accommodate any music
whatsoever, Western or Eastern, classical or pop, into the wide ambits
of its Ragas,” he said. “What
music do you like most, vocal or instrumental?” I asked. “Music
is music - whether sung by the voice or played through an instrument.
There is nothing to choose between the two. Both appeal to me equally,”
He said. “What
makes you roam about in the streets.” I asked. “My
nature. When I had read Milton’s L’Allegro and IL
Penseroso in my college days, I was fascinated by them. One can
take interest in everything in life as a witness or an audience. One
need not take active part in anything whatsoever. Nonetheless, he is
ever happy and gay. I do not know if I had understood Milton correctly,
but I ever wanted to make myself happy as witness and audience. In the
early days, I tried to take active part in many things without much
success excepting in my profession. Although I had some success in it,
I always felt that the profession was foreign to my nature. It was a
necessary evil for me. I came out of it at my earliest opportunity.
Vicarious enjoyment suits me most. When I am out on the streets, I enjoy
the games played by street urchins. Often I watch them for hours together
standing at a distance. I enjoy the roadside juggler’s tricks.
In my childhood, I was amused to hear one such juggler warn his spectators
to take care of their pockets or else their contents would get despatched
by `Money Order without any receipt’. I like the snake charmers’
capacities and the bear or monkey trainers’ capabilities. I cannot
express what joy I find in watching the roadside mechanics trying to
repair vintage motor vehicles. I can spend hours in quietly admiring
their skill and tenacity. When I move about in new townships, I watch
with wonder the variety of the architectural designs demonstrated. The
area looks like an exhibition of architectural art. Most enjoyable for
me is to watch how human beings pick up a quarrel over flimsy matters
and go on fighting for a long time. There are some who set people to
quarrel on the slightest trifle and stand at a distance to watch it.
Pure and simple mischief! I have no words to express how enjoyable to
me all these are,” said Abodharathnam. AT
LUNCH time, he was served with vegetarian food. I asked him “Are
you a strict vegetarian?” “I
have not always been one. But lately I find that vegetarian food suits
me extremely well. Even a few years back I was eating non-vegetarian
food quite regularly excepting egg and egg-products.” He replied.
“Of course, fish I would eat of all varieties available in the
market. But of meat I would generally confine myself to mutton and chicken.
Ham, bacon, pork, sausage, beef etc. I have tasted but never relished
much.” “You
say, you stay alone. Do you cook your own food?” I asked. “My
landlady takes care of that. I am her paying guest,” he replied.
“Certain
people can be seen eating quite a lot, some eat moderately and some
very little. Some eat whatever is available, some are choosy about what
they eat. What is your idea about food habits?” I asked. “The
prescription of the Gita for spiritual seekers is moderate habits of
eating and sleeping. It says - `Verily
this Yoga is not for him who eats too much or sleeps too much. Nor is
it for him who gives up sleep or food.’ (Ch.6/16) “I
feel, it is a good prescription to follow in ordinary life as well.
Of course, when I was working for gain I had at times to work round
the clock. Eating, sleeping and rest had become secondary. My idea was
that I must eat delicious food and eat well; otherwise, my body would
not be able to bear the strain of hard work. I had a greed for food
as well. This made me over-eat most of the time. Naturally, I had become
quite fat and with practically no physical exercise, I could not keep
good health. “When
I was sixteen, I had developed allergy to eggs. At first, I had tried
anti-allergic medicines. I had to take at least two tablets to eat one
egg. At times I would run out of the medicines and would have to control
my urge to eat eggs. If I had eggs without the medicines, I would have
to suffer excruciating stomach ache for many hours. My work would suffer.
I could never forgive myself for this. I was not prepared to lose even
one minute uselessly. I knew, that would delay the achievement of my
goal, which was always my primary object. Gradually I got disgusted
with the matter and gave up eggs altogether. This had the effect of
calming down my greed for food like cakes, puddings, ice-creams etc.
Twenty long years had passed in between. However, this turned out to
be a boon in disguise. My greed for all other food had also dwindled.
Food had become simply a necessity to satisfy my hunger. I also learnt
to make out what food has no side effect on my health and what has.
I taught myself to calmly forego those items of food that do not suit
my health. This taught me not to be sorry to miss them. The quantity
of intake has also got adjusted by itself. Of course, I enjoy delicious
food that still suit my health. But I no longer over-eat. Secondly I
can restrict my eating to eating at regular hours and refuse any food,
however delicious it may be if offered untimely. The Lord has helped
me in this regard by the verse - `By
enjoying the objects of the senses without like or dislike one gets
complete control over one’s own self and enters into the calm,
peace, and happy tranquility of the soul.’ (Ch.2/64) “The
feeling of not missing any particular food has extended itself to most
of the luxuries of life. In my childhood I read a poem called `The Rose’.
It also had an impact on me. It has helped in the development of my
mentality. I do not remember the name of the author. What I remember
is that he was not one of the celebrities. But I remember the poem.
It said - `From
a distance you’ve caught my eye “The
discrimination suggested had quite an impact on me. What is pleasure
for one may be torture for another! My caress may be fatal to the rose!
A simple touch of mine can dismantle a beautiful rose. We have experienced
this often. Yet we never care to spare it the few minutes it still has
to live. This poem has taught me to forego willingly such touches. Consequently
I do not feel that I am missing something. Today I miss almost nothing.
I cannot tell you what a great relief it is. Previously, I would be
sorry to miss any good musical programme. Now, it simply does not matter
to me. This does not mean that I do not like music any longer,”
he stopped. I
asked him if he did not feel bored in whiling away his time like this.
He said, “There are two verses in the Gita that recommend living
in one’s own self. One of the verses says - `The
man, whose delight is in the Self and who is satisfied with the enjoyment
of the Self and in the Self he is content, for him no necessity to do
any work remains.’ (Ch.3/17) “The
other says - `He,
who has the inner happiness, inner ease and repose and the inner light,
dissolves himself in and becomes Brahman.’ (Ch.5/24) “What
the Gita really means by these verses is living in one’s soul.
But, that is only possible for spiritual adepts. So far as I am concerned,
I try an inferior action i.e. to live in my mind. Well, it is quite
a pleasant pastime. I ever wanted to pass my retired days in seclusion.
I am ever thankful to the Lord for providing me with such an opportunity.
“The
Gita also says - `Whoever
experiences inaction in action and action in inaction, is the intelligent
among mankind and works in union with god.’ (Ch.4/18) “I
experimented with this teaching. First of all, while doing the most
strenuous kind of work I would tell myself that I was at rest. I would
repeat this whenever I would feel fatigued. Gradually a time came when
I could work hard for hours together without feeling tired. The contrary
also proved itself true for me. I would start telling myself that I
was working strenuously when I was in fact sitting idle. I would repeat
it whenever boredom would try to overpower me. Gradually a time came
when I started to feel that no work nor even any company was needed
for me to avoid boredom. A very pleasant occupation for me is to watch
my own mind. Mind seems to be a grocer’s shop. The thoughts stand
outside and try to overtake one another in their attempt to enter into
the mind. I can understand what thought comes into it, from what source
it emerges and for what purpose it occurs. As soon as these become clear
the thought drops out and another enters the mind. This goes on incessantly.
This has made my secluded life a real boon to me.” “WHERE
is your secluded abode ?” I asked? “In
Trichy in the area known as Srirangam,” he replied. “May
I have the full address please?” I asked. “House
of V. Ranganatha, Koil Compound, Srirangam, Trichy,” he said. “Is
it far from the city?” I asked. “Just
the contrary!” he replied, “it is quite a congested locality,
with all kinds of people living around and all sorts of noise emanating
from them. Out on the streets, I can enjoy their quarrels.” “What
sort of seclusion is this?” I asked. He
replied “The recommendation of early days was that once you cross
fifty, you should retire to the forests and pass your days in the contemplation
of God. If anyone wanted to meet you, there was no bar to his coming
to you. But, gradually you should turn all your mind, thought and energy
towards God. There was no dearth of fruits in the forests to keep you
going. Whenever needed, you could go round and collect some to meet
your requirements. You could also come out of the forest and beg for
food in the nearby villages - to give alms to beggars was a very pious
act in those days. This institution was known as Vanaprasthashrama.
Nowadays, you can hardly find any fruit in the jungles. Begging also
is now very much looked down upon. So, I have invented a modified Vanaprasthashrama
for myself to suit the present day conditions. I live alone in one room
in the ground floor of a house. There is a little open space in front
of one of my windows where some flowers are grown. The area is noisy
no doubt, but I have learnt to live physically in the city but mentally
far from the madding crowd. A musician of fame of the older generation
had taught me how to detach the mind from the surroundings.” I
told him that what he said could be quite convincing, but he had been
interpreting the teachings of the Gita divorced from their contexts.
To this he replied “I have a family heirloom - a sword - and I
am no warrior; I have no use of it as a sword; I can keep it locked
up in the cupboard or I can make use of it as a chopper. As a practical
person, I prefer using it as a chopper. Similarly, I am using the Gita
for my own purpose instead of keeping it locked up in its teachings.” “YOU
seem to take the Gita differently from others,” I said and asked
“ what do you feel about the spiritual practices suggested by the
scripture?”. He
answered, “The teachings of the Gita are eternal. Great minds of
different ages have interpreted it differently - according to the needs
of their respective ages. As I read it, I feel one can take up any of
its teachings that may suit his own nature and practise it. However,
there are two prescriptions that interest me - “(i)
One may worship any godhead he likes. It will in effect be worshipping
Krishna, the Lord Himself. The method suggested is to remember the godhead,
be devoted to it, do oblations to it and prostrate before it. The Lord
says - `Become
My minded, My lover and adorer, a sacrificer to Me. Bow down to Me.
Thus uniting with Me in the Self you shall come to Me. Even those who
sacrifice to other godheads with devotion and faith, they inadvertently
sacrifice in fact to Me.’ (Ch.9/34 and Ch.9/23); “(ii)
One may share with Krishna all one does - working, eating, worshiping,
giving, meditating etc. In this regard the Lord says - `Whatever
you do, whatever you enjoy, whatever you sacrifice, whatever you give,
whatever you worship, make everything an offering to Me.’ (Ch.9/27).
“Following
the latter discipline it seems possible to make Krishna one’s friend
and constant companion. If I ever consider myself fit to do active sadhana,
I shall probably take up either of the two or both together. But it
is too early for me to say anything more about it.” It
seemed rather unusual for a person like him not to take up any of the
spiritual disciplines suggested by the Gita. I asked him straight, “You
must have been doing some spiritual practice. Your approach to the Gita
suggests this. Why not tell me all about it?” “You
are not totally wrong!” He said, “Occasionally I tried meditative
sadhana as suggested by the Gita. No sooner would I make an attempt,
something would happen to give me a scare. I would have to back out
of it. The third time I decided to take up sadhana, I came across a
warning given by Sri Aurobindo which I still remember - `First
be sure of the call and thy soul’s answer. For if the call is not
true, not the touch of God’s powers or the voice of his messengers,
but the lure of thy ego, the end of thy endeavour will be a poor spiritual
fiasco or else a deep disaster. `And
if not the soul’s fervour, but only the mind’s assent or interest
replies to the divine summons or only the lower life’s desire clutches
at some side attraction of the fruits of Yoga-power or Yoga-pleasure
or only a transient emotion leaps like an unsteady flame moved by the
intensity of the Voice or its sweetness or grandeur, then too there
can be little surety for thee in the difficult path of Yoga.’(The
Hour of God. 4th Ed. p.5.) “I
deliberated over the matter for quite a few months, day in and day out.
I tried to make out if there was a call to my soul - and an answer of
my soul to it. I could not even make out such a call by any stretch
of imagination, what to speak of an answer?” “My
God!” I said, “I used to think that anybody can take up sadhana
of Yoga, if he so likes. You confuse me by quoting the words of Sri
Aurobindo.” Abodharathnam
replied, “I, myself, was also under the same misconception until
I came across these words of Sri Aurobindo. Initially it was difficult
for me to accept that I cannot take up sadhana at my sweet will. Secondly,
it took quite sometime to make myself accept that I may not have any
call. The thought of taking up sadhana occurring to me itself suggests
that I have a call! Thirdly, how can it be that the Lord, who is so
loving to all, does not want me to do sadhana? I went on analysing,
time and again, my own nature and the matters that arise in my mind.
I could not find anything to assure myself that there is a call and
I am really capable of taking up sadhana. At times I would tell myself
- `I have been so successful in life! I must belong to the most superior
class of human beings. I must be someone parallel to the Brahmins or
king-sages that Lord Krishna spoke of. He has assured that all without
exception is entitled to take up sadhana.’ Has He not said - `Those
who take refuge in Me, O Partha, though outcastes, born of a womb of
sin, women, Vaishyas, even Shudras, they also attain to the highest
goal; how much rather then Holy Brahmins and devoted king-sages! You
who have come to this transient world, love Me and turn to Me?’
(Ch.9/32,33.) “Why
then should I be debarred from taking up sadhana? But, the next moment
I would tell myself - `Is it not my ego that suggests that I am a Brahmin?
Is success in worldly life a passport to the Lord’s abode?’
Finally, the remembrance of the double failure in my previous attempts
to take up sadhana settled the issue. I was obliged to accept that sadhana
is not for me. But, I did not give up all hopes. Taking the cue from
Sri Ramakrishna’s asking one of his disciples to appoint Him his
agent to do sadhana, I asked Lord Krishna, the guru of all gurus, to
do sadhana for me and left it in his hands. Since then I have confined
myself to the study of the Gita alone. Nonetheless, I have found all
that I had ever aspired for - peace and happiness. The best part of
it is, I have nothing to hurry about and nothing to worry about.”
Here
too, I found, he had a point. Abodharathnam has not taken up any spiritual
practice. Yet he happily lives in his own mind and in peace. Well, in
the ordinary life, to find peace and happiness is a great boon and it
is all I myself would aspire for. I
asked him at what age did he read the Gita for the first time. “Fortytwo,”
was his answer “I had, by then, given up money-earning pursuits,
and was trying to retire in seclusion. I had been passing my days leisurely.
My father had left behind a copy of the Gita. It was quietly gathering
dust lying in a corner of my bookcase. One day, all on a sudden, it
drew my attention. I found in it messages I could never even imagine.
These interested me and I have been reading and re-reading the scripture
ever since. In fact, the Gita has become my constant companion. I go
through its verses every now and then. In addition, wherever I am and
whatever I do, some verse of it or other keeps coming up and occupying
a part of my mind.” With
a wink he added, “Well, you can spell out from the verses of the
Gita that I am practising three of the principal yogas prescribed by
it.” “How?”
I asked. “Rendering
voluntary service to the Dharmashala is Karmayoga. The Lord says - `You
have a right to action, but only to action, never to its fruits. Let
not the fruits of your works be your motives.’ (Ch.2/47). “Reading
of the Gita itself is practising Jnanayoga. The Lord says - `And
he who shall study this sacred discourse of ours, by him I shall be
worshipped with the sacrifice of knowledge.’ (Ch.18/70). “Discourses
like this can be taken to be Bhaktiyoga. The Lord says, `He
who with the highest devotion in Me, shall declare this supreme secret
among My devotees, without doubt he shall come to Me. There is none
among men who does more than him what is most dear to Me. And there
will be none other than him dearer to Me in this world.’ (Ch.18/68-69).<P10.5M>”
SOMETIME
around 2-30 p.m. the train arrived at Bhopal. Abodharathnam leisurely
stood up and said, “I had better get down here. He picked up his
suitcase from under the seat. I too got up with him and walked with
him up to the door. “Good Bye,” he said and got down. I watched
him go as long as he could be seen. He did not turn back even once.
Early
next morning, still on the train, when I took up the Gita my eyes stuck
to the assurance given by the Lord - `On
this path, no effort is lost, no obstacle prevails. Even a little practice
of this teaching delivers one from the great fear.’ (Ch.2/40) A
feeling overwhelmed me - maybe this assurance covers the interpretations
of Abodharathnam as well! On
my return to Delhi, I found among the mail waiting for me a letter from
Abodharathnam written from Bhopal. It read as follows: Dear
Thiru Venkateswaran, If
you really write anything about what we were talking, it would be better
to give the references of the matters I quoted. The references to the
verses of the Gita are within your easy reach. I append below the references
of the words of Swami Vivekananda and Sri Aurobindo I had quoted to
you. I was fortunate to get the books in the Library of Sri Ramakrishna
Mission, Bhopal. I cannot exactly tell you where I had read the English
translation of the article of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee. So far as I
recollect, it was an article on the sufferings of the peasants of Bengal.
I
travel incognito and give the address of the temple of Lord Ranganatha
to whoever that asks for mine. After all, He is none other than Lord
Krishna, my idol! Physically, I stay at least a thousand and a half
kilometres away from the temple. But mentally I prefer to stay alone
with the Lord whenever I am at home and do not like to be disturbed
there. I beg to be pardoned for this selfishness of mine. Believe me!
Peace is no dream. It is real and within your reach. May
the Lord bless you! Yours
sincerely, Balakrishna
(Abodharathnam)
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!’
And all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave,
Awaits alike th’ inevitable hour:
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.’
And God fulfils Himself in many ways,
Lest one good custom would corrupt the world.’
Sense of responsibility is dwindling fast,
Honesty is becoming scanty,
What is happening to Society?
I must do something to save humanity,
And do to the best of my ability -
This I always dream and aspire,
But, nothing concrete does transpire.
In discussions arguments ensue,
No solution comes, and I rue
The heat and noise that they generate
And the bitterness they create.
`To better the world, at last I wonder,
Am I the Divine’s contractor?’<P10.5M>”
So sweet and beautiful a rose
Never before under my sky
With such elegance and gait could pose.
With their lids stunned by your stance,
My eyes cannot wink or stray
My hands forgetting about the chance
To touch and caress stay at bay.
No thorn is sharp to stall my fingers,
Nor bush so strong my advance to thwart,
The air filled with your fragrance,
Paralyses my legs’ forward dart.
Half my mind wants me to touch
And feel the petals soft and smart,
The other half is pleading much
To leave you ‘lone lest ye be hurt.
My heart vetoes - `Be just warm
And watch the rose enjoy and play
From afar and avoid a harm
That for thee may come its way!’